A brief history of modern cinema
#1
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Let us take a moment to consider all of the many wonderful and not-so-wonderful TV shows and movies of the 1960s, 70s and 80s which have, of late, been "re imagined" for the big screen, with functionally uniform results.
This sucked:
![](http://gamersnetwork.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/the-a-team-2010-poster2.jpg)
This sucked:
![](http://www.dukesonline.com/images/DukesMovie.jpg)
This sucked:
![](http://movievaults.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/Planet-of-the-Apes.jpg)
This sucked:
![](https://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ4lU_jetSVv4Cb8nIbYQ-wTVP0PQcPO5UBQ_yYYxMuMaYjiN9JmyKqjrYI)
This sucked:
![](http://www.mediacircus.net/shaft__________1.jpg)
This sucked:
![](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/4/40/Star_Wars_Phantom_Menace_poster.jpg/220px-Star_Wars_Phantom_Menace_poster.jpg)
This had a few good moments, but mostly sucked:
![](http://www.moviesoundclips.net/pics/chocolate.jpg)
This sucked:
![](http://allwomenstalk.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/8-awesome-car-movies/the-italian-job_8-awesome-car-movies.jpg)
This sucked:
![](http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/MMPO/503641.jpg)
This sucked:
![](http://tengossip.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/fridaythe13th.jpg)
This sucked:
![](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/2/2e/Godzilla_(1998_Movie_Poster).jpg/220px-Godzilla_(1998_Movie_Poster).jpg)
This sucked:
![](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/f/f2/Pinkpanther_mp.jpg/220px-Pinkpanther_mp.jpg)
This sucked:
![](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/8/82/Flubber.jpg/220px-Flubber.jpg)
This sucked:
![](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/d/d2/Death_race_poster.jpg/220px-Death_race_poster.jpg)
This... Uhm. Hell, I can't bring myself to disparage the franchise. Let's just say that it broke tradition and felt a bit cliched:
![Name: 13fgr.jpg
Views: 15
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So, having established a baseline, I really, *really* want this to not suck:
This sucked:
![](http://gamersnetwork.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/the-a-team-2010-poster2.jpg)
This sucked:
![](http://www.dukesonline.com/images/DukesMovie.jpg)
This sucked:
![](http://movievaults.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/Planet-of-the-Apes.jpg)
This sucked:
This sucked:
![](http://www.mediacircus.net/shaft__________1.jpg)
This sucked:
![](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/4/40/Star_Wars_Phantom_Menace_poster.jpg/220px-Star_Wars_Phantom_Menace_poster.jpg)
This had a few good moments, but mostly sucked:
![](http://www.moviesoundclips.net/pics/chocolate.jpg)
This sucked:
![](http://allwomenstalk.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/8-awesome-car-movies/the-italian-job_8-awesome-car-movies.jpg)
This sucked:
![](http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/MMPO/503641.jpg)
This sucked:
![](http://tengossip.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/fridaythe13th.jpg)
This sucked:
![](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/2/2e/Godzilla_(1998_Movie_Poster).jpg/220px-Godzilla_(1998_Movie_Poster).jpg)
This sucked:
![](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/f/f2/Pinkpanther_mp.jpg/220px-Pinkpanther_mp.jpg)
This sucked:
![](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/8/82/Flubber.jpg/220px-Flubber.jpg)
This sucked:
![](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/d/d2/Death_race_poster.jpg/220px-Death_race_poster.jpg)
This... Uhm. Hell, I can't bring myself to disparage the franchise. Let's just say that it broke tradition and felt a bit cliched:
![Name: 13fgr.jpg
Views: 15
Size: 22.6 KB](https://www.miataturbo.net/attachments/insert-bs-here-4/240275d1683056442-brief-history-modern-cinema-13fgr.jpg)
So, having established a baseline, I really, *really* want this to not suck:
![Name: jTxxh.jpg
Views: 16
Size: 72.8 KB](https://www.miataturbo.net/attachments/insert-bs-here-4/240276d1683056442-brief-history-modern-cinema-jtxxh.jpg)
#6
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My buddy who is a retired Marine is amazed at the movies I haven't seen. He has to see everyfuckingthing. I have no affinity for Hollywood's pecker to be rammed into my exit only thank you very much.
This sucked and I've never seen it. And they made two of them for double penetration.
![](https://4.bp.blogspot.com/_1EYa1SZ8Erk/TL8cX73cugI/AAAAAAAAAWk/8W5mNrpcSRA/s1600/CharliesAngels-thumb-500x281-12039.jpg)
Loved the original but this sucked:
![](http://www.projectnext.eu/mobile-game/Get_Smart_In-Fusio.jpg)
Oh, yeah. This really needed to be a ******* movie:
![](https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jeQEhlXOF2U/TbIVKoijH3I/AAAAAAAAAJ4/qb54ZuC5B2s/s1600/The%2BSmurfs%2BFilm%2BPoster.jpg)
Really?
![](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/8/8a/Dragnet_movie.jpg/220px-Dragnet_movie.jpg)
Who the funk are these punk asses?
![](http://www.universalstudiosentertainment.com/assets_c/2010/04/61032153_Miami%20Vice_800x445-thumb-800x445-655.jpg)
Just fuking ghey:
![](http://blogs.sltrib.com/tv/uploaded_images/knight_rider_wallpaper_1920x1200-1%5B1%5D-762842.jpg)
Sooperghey:
![](http://h50reboot.com/galleries/albums/batchfile/Season%201/image_left.jpg)
really?
![](https://1.bp.blogspot.com/_EsPL_WSRryE/TC-T4iOhfUI/AAAAAAAAEdw/zBBg1DVNHUQ/s1600/The+Next+Karate+Kid+%281994%29+BluRay+Rip.jpg)
***** please... stop:
![](http://www.moviedeskback.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/The-Karate-Kid-2010-5.jpg)
And who the **** is this tryin to be Speed?
![](http://themoviebros.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/speedracer1.jpg)
It just ain't right. And I didn't even like the first karate kid...
I know of more but it depresses me...
This sucked and I've never seen it. And they made two of them for double penetration.
![](https://4.bp.blogspot.com/_1EYa1SZ8Erk/TL8cX73cugI/AAAAAAAAAWk/8W5mNrpcSRA/s1600/CharliesAngels-thumb-500x281-12039.jpg)
Loved the original but this sucked:
![](http://www.projectnext.eu/mobile-game/Get_Smart_In-Fusio.jpg)
Oh, yeah. This really needed to be a ******* movie:
![](https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jeQEhlXOF2U/TbIVKoijH3I/AAAAAAAAAJ4/qb54ZuC5B2s/s1600/The%2BSmurfs%2BFilm%2BPoster.jpg)
Really?
![](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/8/8a/Dragnet_movie.jpg/220px-Dragnet_movie.jpg)
Who the funk are these punk asses?
![](http://www.universalstudiosentertainment.com/assets_c/2010/04/61032153_Miami%20Vice_800x445-thumb-800x445-655.jpg)
Just fuking ghey:
![](http://blogs.sltrib.com/tv/uploaded_images/knight_rider_wallpaper_1920x1200-1%5B1%5D-762842.jpg)
Sooperghey:
![](http://h50reboot.com/galleries/albums/batchfile/Season%201/image_left.jpg)
really?
![](https://1.bp.blogspot.com/_EsPL_WSRryE/TC-T4iOhfUI/AAAAAAAAEdw/zBBg1DVNHUQ/s1600/The+Next+Karate+Kid+%281994%29+BluRay+Rip.jpg)
***** please... stop:
![](http://www.moviedeskback.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/The-Karate-Kid-2010-5.jpg)
And who the **** is this tryin to be Speed?
![](http://themoviebros.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/speedracer1.jpg)
It just ain't right. And I didn't even like the first karate kid...
I know of more but it depresses me...
#10
Boost Pope
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Ah, yes, I forgot about Speed Racer. Possibly one of the worst films ever made.
Didn't see the rest, but I'm sure you're right. And I was really tempted to add Knight Rider, though blessedly it never made it to the big screen.
For what it's worth, anybody remember Knight Rider 2000? It was a made-for-TV-movie / Pilot that never went anywhere. Still had the Hoff, and Devin was there at the beginning but they killed him off. Same KITT, but stuffed into a Chevy Bel Air and later a mockup of a concept model of what would eventually become the 4'th gen Firebird.
Note to self: avoid all movie theaters near Big Bear for a while.
Didn't see the rest, but I'm sure you're right. And I was really tempted to add Knight Rider, though blessedly it never made it to the big screen.
For what it's worth, anybody remember Knight Rider 2000? It was a made-for-TV-movie / Pilot that never went anywhere. Still had the Hoff, and Devin was there at the beginning but they killed him off. Same KITT, but stuffed into a Chevy Bel Air and later a mockup of a concept model of what would eventually become the 4'th gen Firebird.
Note to self: avoid all movie theaters near Big Bear for a while.
#12
Tour de Franzia
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lol @ modern movies. I can't say I've seen the new Footloose, but I know that the old one did not have explosions. I wonder if Hollywood has the ***** to remake stuff like REal Genius, Breakfast Club, Farris Bueler's Day Off, Heathers, Hunt for Red October, The Presidio, or The Russia House and how will they incorporate explosions and Megan Fox into them?
#15
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Like California's fixed 1974 cutoff date, this is a constant and it shall remain so.
#17
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lol @ modern movies. I can't say I've seen the new Footloose, but I know that the old one did not have explosions. I wonder if Hollywood has the ***** to remake stuff like REal Genius, Breakfast Club, Farris Bueler's Day Off, Heathers, Hunt for Red October, The Presidio, or The Russia House and how will they incorporate explosions and Megan Fox into them?
#18
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The planet of the apes remake absolutely sucked, the original was ******* brilliant. For some reason every time I see it listed on the TV guide its the steaming pile of **** version, seems like its on every day mocking me.
On the other hand, the A team movie had its moments, I tortured my wife humming the theme for days on end before we went to see it.
On the other hand, the A team movie had its moments, I tortured my wife humming the theme for days on end before we went to see it.