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As well as broadcast to anyone who sees it that you've never known the touch of a real woman. Which, i understand comes hard to parse in conjunction with the "children" part, but i'm sure it's retro-actively applied.
Dang it, please nobody tell my girlfriend she's not a real woman.
Uhg.... I have a small table that I keep next to my desk to put drinks on. I set my drink on my desk and 10 seconds later the entirety of said drink was released unto the electronic landscape with a furious vengeance.
Saved the mouse and most of the keyboard... Three keys now stick. Looks like I'll have to solder in some new ones >_<
Amazon Basics keyboard. I saved all my money for my mouse, lol. Razor Naga Epic for the mouse. Not sure what I will do when it dies, since they don't make them anymore.
Logitech's Romer-G keys suck! My G910 started double-typing on single key presses. It seems its a common problem. They refused to warranty the keyboard. I'm back to my 27 year old IBM Model M and its still going strong.
It's wireless, has sensor-activated backlight but not RGB (thank you), charges over USB-C, non-mechanical because I want my hands to last for a few more decades.
I use it mainly for work, not gaming, but it doesn't impede me playing Doom Eternal.
Microsoft 600 wired keyboard. I go through one every 18 months or so, mainly because of a sticky space key (and the fact I cannot be bothered to clean them)