President Obama's $3,580,000 Birthday Gift
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A bit of tongue-in-cheek advice on how the President should spend the money generated from a big donor's dinner.
Washington Times Article
Washington Times Article
Mr. Obama was given a birthday president of $3,580,000, or 89% of a Kobe Bryant apology diamond. 100 obese felines that Mr. Obama pretends to disdain all donated $35,800 for the right to inspect his (backside, redacted) and make sure it was as clean and delightful as MSNBC insists. He has every right to this money. He "earned" it. However, the true way Mr. Obama can show us his wonderful nature is by what he does with the money.
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Sorta. See also:
Originally Posted by the essay
Mr. Obama could even give money to the Republican National Committee so they can use it on ads to criticize him. After all, my parents are Republicans and they had to give their money to teachers' unions, who then funneled it into liberal causes. Mr. Obama returning the favor would level the playing field.
As for the 100 portly kittys who donated $35,800 apiece into the president's kitty, their names and occupations should be made public. Ever single one of them should be forced to change their entire business models. Oil companies are being bullied into supporting green energy. Tobacco companies are being forced into funding anti-tobacco ventures. McDonalds was browbeated into putting apples in their Happy Meals. The Obama donors should do the same.
As for the 100 portly kittys who donated $35,800 apiece into the president's kitty, their names and occupations should be made public. Ever single one of them should be forced to change their entire business models. Oil companies are being bullied into supporting green energy. Tobacco companies are being forced into funding anti-tobacco ventures. McDonalds was browbeated into putting apples in their Happy Meals. The Obama donors should do the same.
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Originally Posted by Originally Posted by the essay
Mr. Obama could even give money to the Republican National Committee so they can use it on ads to criticize him. After all, my parents are Republicans and they had to give their money to teachers' unions, who then funneled it into liberal causes. Mr. Obama returning the favor would level the playing field.
As for the 100 portly kittys who donated $35,800 apiece into the president's kitty, their names and occupations should be made public. Ever single one of them should be forced to change their entire business models. Oil companies are being bullied into supporting green energy. Tobacco companies are being forced into funding anti-tobacco ventures. McDonalds was browbeated into putting apples in their Happy Meals. The Obama donors should do the same.
As for the 100 portly kittys who donated $35,800 apiece into the president's kitty, their names and occupations should be made public. Ever single one of them should be forced to change their entire business models. Oil companies are being bullied into supporting green energy. Tobacco companies are being forced into funding anti-tobacco ventures. McDonalds was browbeated into putting apples in their Happy Meals. The Obama donors should do the same.
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Can't educate stupid ******* parents (its like watching Maury with the obese kids eating 24 drumsticks a meal), so let the child be fed **** from the lack of the parents brain. Can't see how that helps anyone...
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On the other hand, nobody was holding a gun to smallpox' head in the mid 20'th century, forcing it to infect 50,000,000 people per year. Unfortunately, smallpox is just kind of an ******* that way, so instead of wasting time trying to teach it manners, we just said "screw it," went behind its back, and eliminated its opportunity to **** people up by inoculating them.
People just don't make sense sometimes. Hell, my own mother, who is an RN and at one point in the late 70s fed us kids nothing but fruit and tofu for damn near a whole year, is now a grandmother and gives my niece whatever the hell she wants.
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Solution: Lets put birth control in Mountain Dew (in other junk food too). In fact, why not give every male a vasectomy at age 15? If they want to have kids then they can get it reversed when they can afford the procedure. How many of the people feeding those kids Mc D's planned on having kids? I'm guessing not many.
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On the other hand, nobody was holding a gun to smallpox' head in the mid 20'th century, forcing it to infect 50,000,000 people per year. Unfortunately, smallpox is just kind of an ******* that way, so instead of wasting time trying to teach it manners, we just said "screw it," went behind its back, and eliminated its opportunity to **** people up by inoculating them.
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I know you ************* are all scared shitless of the government doing anything to interfere with your country but up where we pay for health care (well we don't in Alberta any more, thank the dead dinosaurs) I wouldn't want some fat pos in the hospital eating tax dollars up for treatment related to them being obese. Obama makes you guys all pay now doesn't he? Sorry not to current with his policy.
Can't educate stupid ******* parents (its like watching Maury with the obese kids eating 24 drumsticks a meal), so let the child be fed **** from the lack of the parents brain. Can't see how that helps anyone...
Can't educate stupid ******* parents (its like watching Maury with the obese kids eating 24 drumsticks a meal), so let the child be fed **** from the lack of the parents brain. Can't see how that helps anyone...
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Obesity is communicable in the same way as alzheimer's- by heredity.
Any normal six year old is going to beg for a Happy Meal, just as any normal free electron is going to bind to the nearest available proton. Call it behavioral physics. The kid can't make rational nutritional decisions, and they also can't help whether or not their parent(s) have more common sense than the kid has whining ability.
Any normal six year old is going to beg for a Happy Meal, just as any normal free electron is going to bind to the nearest available proton. Call it behavioral physics. The kid can't make rational nutritional decisions, and they also can't help whether or not their parent(s) have more common sense than the kid has whining ability.
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Obesity is communicable in the same way as alzheimer's- by heredity.
Any normal six year old is going to beg for a Happy Meal, just as any normal free electron is going to bind to the nearest available proton. Call it behavioral physics. The kid can't make rational nutritional decisions, and they also can't help whether or not their parent(s) have more common sense than the kid has whining ability.
Any normal six year old is going to beg for a Happy Meal, just as any normal free electron is going to bind to the nearest available proton. Call it behavioral physics. The kid can't make rational nutritional decisions, and they also can't help whether or not their parent(s) have more common sense than the kid has whining ability.
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How exactly did the government have anything at all to do with whether or not McDonald's includes a portion of sliced apples with their Happy Meal? That was 100% market pressure, pure and simple.
(Waiting anxiously for Jason to explain to all of us why this is false, and is in fact the product of a conspiracy between apple growers, the US Treasury Department, and the Federal Reserve to exert control over the potato farming industry in order to further their aim of achieving a state of de-facto oligopoly and further enslave the American consumer.)
(Waiting anxiously for Jason to explain to all of us why this is false, and is in fact the product of a conspiracy between apple growers, the US Treasury Department, and the Federal Reserve to exert control over the potato farming industry in order to further their aim of achieving a state of de-facto oligopoly and further enslave the American consumer.)
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